Cesonis

 universal feeling 

maybe i am like the universe, 
my darkness never ending. 
stardust was sprinkled in attempt to brighten my soul, 
but i think my body was not meant to shine. 
yes at times, 
i have beautiful constellations, 
supernovas flashing across my palate, 
galaxies of twilight dusted throughout, 
but in the end 
my dark nothingness is much brighter 
than the things trying to shine through. 
the many moons in my darkness, 
are weighed down with grief, 
the stars burn with such passion, 
yet they’re simply balls of gas waiting to die 
and feel relief. 
i am a desolate setting, 
where my strengths are irrelevant 
and 
my weaknesses glaringly evident. 
the bright lights seem to fade everyday, 
comets crash into my starlit hope, 
happiness seems light years away. 
but perhaps i am simply enamored with my darkness. 
unwilling to let my bright parts shine, 
unwilling to let my shadows fade away. 
maybe like the universe, 
this feeling will stretch on forever.

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the intimacy of betweens 

between the wine and the look you give me, 
are the unspoken affirmations of all the things, 
that there are no words left to describe. 

between the shadow and the soul, 
is the seed that you’ve been watering in secret, 
nourishing and tending to, 
sprouting a fullness of happiness inside of me.

 

between the time that keeps us separate, 
is the agony and which the sun never gets to touch the moon before it sets, 
or the way the sea gets swept back 
before it can hug the shore. 

between your smile and your laugh, 
shines your heart 
that speaks to mine. 
it’s the intimacy of being understood 
that is so genuinely beautiful; 
it sets you apart from the rest of the world. 

all moments have beginnings and ends, 
but with you, 
our moments are in between.

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ashes. 

i don’t believe in love anymore. 
my hearts been broken too many times to prove otherwise. 

age ten; i saw no love between the two people who were supposed to love each other the most.

instead of observing kisses and hugs, 

i was caught in the crossfire of their gun fight of words; 
bleeding, broken and bruised. 
forced to pick sides and be the spy in each other’s games. 
it broke me from a young age. 

and from there, the hole i found myself in, became deeper. 

you told me you loved me, and god, did i believe you. you made me love sunshine and rain as 

the 

same. the flowers seemed brighter, the birds sang sweeter, and the breeze kissed me with 

such 

affection, that i was overflowing with the purest of joys. 

but then all the color seemed to drip off my canvas. a darkness spread over me; a weighted veil 

that i’m too weak to lift off, cold and grey. 

and i could do nothing as i watched the petals fall from those flowers and die. 

the birds stopped harmonizing their melody. 

and the worst of all, the wind that was your breath on my skin, ceased to be. 

you stopped loving me. 

so tell me how i’m supposed to believe in love, when all i’ve ever experienced were false 

pretenses. lies that made my heart drink and sing the blues. tell me how i’m supposed to be 

able 

to climb the rope ladder that leads to my “happiness” when i can’t find the will to reach out for

the 

first rung. let alone try. 

i don’t believe in love anymore 

i’ve used up all my hope and faith 

it’s been burned to the ground; 

and all that’s left are 

ashes.

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connected souls 

i think it’s beautifully tragic how a star must die before it’s light gets to travel the universe.
but what would the black sky be without the balls of light? 
what would life be without love? 

i believe certain souls are made of stardust. 
that when a star dies, dust drifts from it, 
and its beauty gets sprinkled in different lives; 
but it always longs to get back to its original star; it’s ball of light. 

i think our souls are from the same star. 
for mine and yours seem to dance in perfect harmony. 
as if our souls are rejoicing for finding another. 
you seem to have painted galaxies on my heart as a reminder that in darkness there is light, 

healing, growth… 

as if our souls already know each other, it’s just our body’s that are new. 
an enticing, deep understanding that we are somehow one… 

i believe souls can be fire, and you are my twin flame. 
burning and suffocating past pains together but providing light on the path to the future. 
generating a beautiful warmth to find comfort in. 

you are my twin flame. 

“he’s more myself than i am. 

for whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same.”

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i never got to say goodbye 

i thought you were the one for me,

 i had our future planned, 

but then you went and left me, 

and i can not understand. 

did i do something wrong? 

please tell me what i did, 

so i can piece us back together, 

and uncover what you hid. 

i’ll cover it in band aids, 

kiss and treat the wound til it’s healed. 

do whatever it is that you want,

 i promise that i’ll yield. 

whatever is the matter, 

i’ll do anything to make it right,

i cannot live without you, 

not even make it through the night. 

i’m driving around and screaming, 

my world has been cleaved in two, 

i’m falling apart, breaking, 

all i can think about is, you. 

i want to die truly, 

i’m rethinking all i have done,

i really really loved you, 

the pain is too fast to outrun. 

you’ve taken all the oxygen, 

from our beautiful burning flame,

i can’t see, can’t think, can’t breathe,

i’ll never be the same.

there’s a hollow feeling inside me, 

nothings there but black, 

i’m trying to crawl out, 

but i’m drowning and can’t get back. 

i’m a whirlwind of emotion, 

yet i’m nothing all the way, 

please take back those awful sounding words, 

and reverse time, then push play. 

then i can change what’s happened, 

erase this from our time, 

please don’t go and leave me, 

i’m falling apart inside. 

i’m sorry i was not good enough, 

that i made you mad, 

i take back all i ever said, 

everything that was bad. 

i’m falling and cannot get up, 

please lend a helping hand, 

come back to me, 

this feeling i can’t withstand. 

i cant get away from it, 

the feeling in my chest, 

you were always too good for me, 

and i was nothing but oppressed. 

i’m sorry that i messed up, 

that you witnessed how bad i am firsthand,

but i truly thought we’d end up together, 

so i’ll never understand.

Cheyenne Cesonis

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About the Author

Cheyenne Cesonis has always had a passion for reading and writing, and takes pride in trying to see the world from a different perspective. She fell in love with poetry at a young age and how it describes even the most tragic things in a beautiful way. She says that poetry is a unique gift to help anyone feel understood and heard, and she’ll continue to do her best to share pretty words with the world.