Gama

Mr. MD 

Stole my consciousness from fourteen to nineteen  

That’s 5 years I screamed and begged inside my own body.  

To feel something again  

To be convinced I wasn’t a monster.  

Because I know I should feel something  

After experiencing a loved one passing.   

 

Yet all these pills evaporated my emotions 

And so I got through the motions. 

But in truth I was just too scared  

To allow myself to actually feel the pressure on my chest.  

The anxiety, the dread, even let the tears shed.  

Because if I have learned something  

Like a man John Green once said, 

“That’s the thing about pain,  

it demands to be felt”. 

 

The tearless breakups  

And funerals turned comedy skits 

“you just have a dark sense of humor”  

THEN WHY IS MY STOMACH IN SUCH TURMOIL? 

God, please tell me something’s wrong with me 

You have no idea how much peace that would bring.  

 

Because then I wouldn’t have to admit to myself  

My doctor doped me up 

Made me a lab rat, 

Something new to explore.  

 

I really thought something was wrong with me  

But I’m not the one with a medical degree.  

So riddle me this Mr. MD,  

Did you really see a case, 

Or just a highway to greed? 

AG Gama 

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About the Author

AG Gama is a 22-year-old filmmaker and author. she was born and raised in Mexico City, Mexico. She currently resides in KCMO with her pets and partner, where she enjoys local coffeeshops, hyper-fixates in a new craft every few months, and attends very few social events. Her newest book "Healing isn't Linear" will be released later in 2024, which includes Mr. MD along with many other poems with a similar tone and attitude.